Everybody needs support during painful loss and trauma. It’s so easy to fall off track during hard times and even harder to get up and put one foot at the front of the other. The reality? In order to move forward, you have to go through the grieving process and it is not easy. Trust me I’ve been there. It took lots of practice and accountability with myself. You may not be ready to go on yet, but believe me, the time will come when you need to get busy again.
You can’t rush through it but you will get comfort as you move forward.
Ignoring your loss is not going to help. What I’ve discovered through my healing is that facing and accepting the loss helped me to move forward faster. Refusing to adapt doesn’t change the circumstances, in fact it slows us down from moving forward and it robs us of our peace and joy.
To start healing you have to allow yourself to grieve. You can do that in a healthy way, that will keep you away from being stuck in your pain and enable you to move forward.
The first and most important key is, to be honest with yourself by facing your loss and embracing your pain. It’s not always easy for everyone and that is totally normal. Grieving can be extremely painful and difficult when you are doing it alone, and from my life experiences and expertise with grief and trauma, I know that being able to lean on someone you trust and someone who gets you is crucial. Maybe the people you are surrounded with never experienced a significant loss and they don’t understand what you might be feeling and that’s okay. I was avoiding people because I thought nobody cares and gets it. The truth was, that it is so incredibly important to seek support and have a connection with people who love you, who know you, who get you whether you are feeling good alone or bad alone. That will make you feel embraced, loved, and supported and also can stretch you to be the best version of yourself.
I wasn’t ready to talk to anybody and wanted to hide underneath my bed covers and wake up when the grief was over. I was fragile, raw, and vulnerable. I was falling and breaking. On the outside, it looked like I was looking strong, holding myself together, and moving on from the pain. However on the inside, others didn’t know what emotions I was dealing with. My heart was bleeding. I was scared to face the truth because I didn’t want to take my life’s responsibilities alone. I had many intense big feelings, like sorrow, doubt, ache, pain, insecurity, fear, paranoia. What made the difference to pull through all of these feelings, was doubling down on trust instead of fear and choosing small, easy to accomplish, natural, and positive activities that were lifting my heart and made me feel loved.
If you are having those big feelings and are feeling stuck in your pain, I can help. I will guide you in a very gentle and caring way to deal with whatever problem you are facing while dealing with grief and trauma. The importance of dealing with your problems is huge for your mental and physical well-being because if you don’t deal with your problems, they will deal with you. This is why getting support and guidance during hardships should be your biggest priority.
Starting with small, progressive steps will help you with the transition to your “new normal”.
I did lots of simple steps that taught me how to handle responsibilities. These small steps increased into bigger steps that helped me in handling bigger responsibilities and opportunities.
It is essential to find ways to cope with your painful experiences and emotions related to the loss. In order to deal with your grief, it is also important to engage in coping that promotes adjustment and overall well-being. Grief coping is different for everyone. There are different ways to get help like: seeing a therapist, support groups, have a routine, reading, physical activities that make you feel good, and many more!
Small hinges swing big doors
What is one small thing you are doing to find peace and calmness? I can’t say that I know exactly how you feel, but I do recognize your pain and I can offer you kindness and support. I can hold you up and help you grow stronger. I can show you different ways that will help you cope with your emotions and provide you with the tools that helped me, so that you have something to lean on and that feels most natural to you.
Comments